I LOVE ME!
Of all the emotions much spoken of…much expressed… much needed and much felt is “Love”. In our pursuit to feel this emotion, we manifest love to people around us through our words and actions. Most of the times we lose ourselves in this pursuit of making others happy. Most of the times we are so engrossed in keeping our loved ones to ourselves for the fear of losing them if we are not able to love them enough. Expression of love is manifested in many a ways… as for Valentine’s Day- gifts and flowers, chocolates and teddy bears, romantic dates and dinners and what not! Its not only about Valentine’s day , but almost every time we get a chance to prove and array our love, we do it! And all this we do to keep our loved ones to ourselves. Owing to humans being social animals, our need for being social leads us to love and keep people. We strive zealously to build stronger relationships, to keep our loved ones happier and content, to show our authority and concern towards them… and all of these things build our relationships ;which define our vivacious and complacent lives.
In all of this we are lost. We lose ourselves – Yes we do!! (most of the times not to our realization). We gain the love of our spouses, partners, family and friends and these are those whom we look up to for constant approval of our actions. But we forget that until we accept and approve ourselves , no amount of approval from others will keep us permanently secure. Not that we are not in need of the motivation and encouragement, but we need a higher level of approval of ourselves ‘by ourselves’ in both good and bad times. This only comes from a deeper understanding of being yourself. You can be your ‘real self’ only if u ‘love yourself’!!
“I LOVE ME”…. such a selfish and arrogant phrase! Not in its true sense though. It is the most self effacing and docile gesture towards yourself. Falling in love with yourself is knowing yourself deeper and better. Accepting the person that you are with your flaws and blessings. Its easier for us to fall in love with someone else. As in a romantic likeness, we fall in love with a person owing to their physical as well as their immaterial attributes. As we know the person through the course of time, we start understanding that person better and fall in or out of love deeper. So should it be with ourselves- We have lived the longest with ourselves and known ourselves the most. So how does it become difficult to fall in love with the person called YOU!
Yes, we find it to be the most difficult task to fall in love with oneself…! Sounds unconventional and yet is conventional. Learning how to give ourselves love in a way that we can fully receive is one of the most powerful choices we can make. This is the best choice we make that impacts our ability to live than just merely survive. Its our ability to love ourselves that helps us to love others in the most surpassing ways. It helps us to receive and give the love fittingly. If we fall in love with ourselves- not in the selfish and self indulging way but in a grateful way…We will truly see the beauty life has offered to us. And how do we start….
- Stop being your own critic –There are many out there to do that. We have always been critical to ourself and just moved towards making ourself feel more miserable, more stressful. This war within ourself has developed as lack of self love. Permit yourself to stop criticizing yourself and look to the other side of the fence. The other side of the fence which calls you to cross the barriers that are holding you down from getting something much better than what you are thinking of yourself today.
2. Think Positive –
How good are we at seeing the bad side of things and then being sad about it. We often blame ourselves for the negative things people say to us. We often and easily take negative comments and judgments passed on to us so easily and look down upon ourselves. What if we don’t think about the negative part of it…and look to the brighter side. We need to be more optimistic. More optimistic about our thoughts and our actions. No one else can make you feel inferior without your permission. Why give the permission in the first place?
3. Accept your weirdness –
Being quirky or standing out in the crowd doesn’t make you an alien. I is who you are… It is you- with all your weirdness, goodness, beauty, craziness. It is you! Doesn’t matter if you cant ride a bike or if you stammer out of fear in front of a crowd. At the end of the day…Its you! You need to grow out of your limitations for good. But you need not force yourself to limits you cannot accept or control. Be comfortable in your own skin. No worries if your hair becomes frizzy with the wind..No worries if you get a sun tan at the beach…No worries if you drool on your pillow when you are fast asleep. As long as you are being yourself enjoying the little pleasures of life, don’t you worry about being you!
4. Know your strengths –
In the bargain of being yourself, don’t you become sympathetic about yourself and keep yourself limited to what you have already achieved. Know your strengths well. Have the courage to stand up and pursue your dreams through your abilities and talents. Undeniably our strengths are known to us but we falter to manifest them. Because we fail to believe that we can do things. We need to awaken ourselves to the the belief that we can achieve- both huge and little goals.
5. Learn and grow –
Done a serious mistake? Learn from it. Into a bad habit? Grow out of it. Learn yourself. Learn from others. Learn to be confident. Learn to be courageous. Life doesn’t stop teaching you…only if you take in what you have to learn. Growing just physically and not by learning from yourself and others…is like a halt stop forever.
6. Appreciate and be thankful–
Beauty is all around us. Beauty lies in the people we encounter. It lies in the things our eyes see, It lies in the feelings our heart perceives. We shouldn’t let these go unforeseen. Appreciate and thank people. Stand by under the sky and watch the beautiful stars, the little flowers blooming in the pot; your neighbor smiling daily at you as you pass by, meals that you have with pleasure, friends that you talk to; reasons that make you laugh, a goodnight sleep, that little zit on your cheek disappeared… There are an awful lot of reasons we have to be grateful for and appreciate how beautiful our life is.
7. No to comparisons –
Stop taking life as a competition. Stop the comparison you do in your life against the lives of others. Forget about the celebrities with whom you compare your body and skin, the friends against whom you compare your achievements, the people whom you are obsessed with pleasing. Turns out to be a tiring job! Compare yourself with what you were yesterday. Have you become a better and newer person today? Have you achieved what you had dreamt of a few years back? Have you corrected and learnt from mistakes of yesteryear? Become a better version of yourself.
8. Pamper yourself –
Indulge in your hobbies. Indulge in a bubble bath. Get wet in the spray pump in the garden. Dance. Sing aloud (Don’t worry about how melodious you sound!). Lay in bed all day. Read a book or two or three at a stretch. Eat dollops of ice cream. Go shopping yourself. Take up a new hobby…crotchet? Get entangled with the wool and restart again. Cry to yourself if you feel like. Feel appreciative about yourself when you achieve anything big or small. Take care of yourself. Depriving oneself of good care of body is an unjust way of living within yourself.
9. Constant Affirmations –
Our feelings and emotions give life to our words. Talk to yourself about how you feel at the moment. Self talk helps you understand and figure out what is going on in your mind. Occupy your mind with constant positive affirmations. Isn’t it true- you become what you think and believe! Like this one is my favorite – ” I love myself for who I am”. Keep it simple.. Keep it “you”.
10. Give yourself a break –
We aren’t perfect. We aren’t meant to be. All days aren’t the same and shouldn’t be. Learn to take each day as it comes. Learn to give yourself a break off the constant treadmill that you are running. In a way to accept things as they come. Everyday wont be a happy one , so its alright to be sad sometimes.Allow yourself to embrace the emotions as they come without judging yourself. Embrace all the pain, joys , anxieties and excitement. But don’t stay with any of these forever!
Self love doesn’t come that easy. We are slaves of our own thoughts , judgments, opinions and beliefs. We punish ourselves, criticize ourselves, prove ourselves of being unworthy and look down upon ourselves so easily. We are self sympathetic and yet self unapologetic. We deny ourselves of the love that we are worthy of. We run behind momentary pleasures and blame our heart for it. We cry over things that break our heart. We are unable to love back. We carry our guilt and prejudices against ourselves and are unable to love others as we should. We allow our past to cling to our present and then we ask ourselves what hasn’t changed. We complicate and replicate the same over and over again. We resent from giving ourselves a chance to open up- to open up to ourselves. We resent and are unprepared to express our love to our self. Only if this sublime emotion can find its way to grow and flourish within us!
Love isn’t going anywhere… we are asking it to leave. Yes, only if we gain the courage to stand and look into the mirror and say to our self – I LOVE ME!… Life will help us grow. Life will help us give love and take love in all its abundance. Humans are we born out of love and in love shall we die. We carry the love of all those who have lived with us all through our lives which helps us to live than merely exist. After all , love is all we need…all we need is love! I hope and believe that we all learn to love ourselves for who we are and what we look like and how we were born to be… because we are perfect in our own beautiful way!
“Your life is a journey of learning to love yourself first and then extending that love to others in every encounter”